Covid Is Killing Me

I wasn't sure where to start, and this seemed like the most logical place. It's the record of my life for the past 20 years more or less - longer than that when you add in my journals from the 90s which were transcribed here.
September 13 was the 6 month mark for being off work and home-isolating because of Covid-19. Those six months have amplified the issues I've been struggling with for over a year but It's gotten worse as I've been isolating myself.
I really have started to wonder what I'm doing it all for.
I'm not suicidal, exactly, but I really don't see why I'm living. I don't see why I should bother. Read More...
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Fareweill 2019

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Saying Goodbye with Intention Read More...
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As I Approach 52...

First of all, yes, this is very much a cry for help.
My life is out of balance and I'm not sure what to do about it on my own.
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I thought this year would be amazing - I bought a house, I have a new sporty convertible, I'd lost 75 pounds… I was SURE to be popular, go on loads of dates, and perhaps get married by the end of 2019/
But I haven't done a social activity in 4 months.
I have no real friends anymore. Read More...
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Colombia 2019

It'
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s been a minute since I wrote anything on this blog. But today I'm motivated because I really don't want to forget the lessons that my trip to Colombia taught me.
First, sexy is in the eye of the beholder. Though I'm not exactly in high demand here in San Diego, as an American Daddy Bear, I was crazy popular in both Bogota and Cartagena. I have to remember that. Whenever I get to feeling a bit down or start to get too hard on myself, I have to remind myself that everything is relative. I have to remember not to judge myself based on the invisibility I feel next to the muscle thinks of Rich's or Mo's. Read More...
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Traveling Bug

For the first time in… forever… I'm planning a trip.
Two things happened to start me on the path, I shall relate both of them here.
First, I had a GREAT time in Montreal. I loved the city, I loved the boys, and I love that in July there is a 10-day circus festival going on all over town.
Next, Pat went to Bear Week in Provincetown in July - again - and I really really really wanted to be there with him having fun.
So… I'm already planning summer 2019.
I never do this.
I'm the guy who waits too long to plan and then loses out on an opportunity or else I just find a bargain last minute and go wherever it takes me - which is how I ended up in Montreal in the first place.
So now… I'm going to Montreal in July, 2019, and then after 10 days there, I'm going to Provincetown to hang with Pat and the Bears for a week, and then coming home July 21, 2019. I've got three weeks booked, and I'm giddy about it.
And the PRICES!
My flight to Montreal is just about $104 one way. My flight home from Boston to San Diego was just $143.
It's amazing that prices are like when you get this far out ahead of it.
Now I just need a flight from Montreal to Boston, and then to solidify the plans in Ptown with Pat…. I'm just so friggin' excited!
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